Wednesday 26 October, 2011

5 Steps to Anger Management

Blood is gushing through your veins. Your face is bursting with anger. You feel like thrashing his head against a pillar and dump him in a dustbin like a crumbled foil. Hold on! Not all are meant to become action heroes! Your anger is doing more bad to you than you may do to him. There is a better way to handle this.


All of us know the ill effects of anger; but still most of us find it difficult to rein it in. One of the basic instincts of man, anger is not something we can get rid off altogether. But, there are ways we can control it. Let’s see how...



1. Take your mind off the situation

Relax! Take your mind off the situation for a moment. Take deep breaths; listen to music or hum a tune to yourself, or think of a good joke or of a nice time you spend with your kids/ family. This brings down the stress level in your body, and tempers your emotions.

2. The Third Person View

Ever wondered why video games involving shooting and killing are best played in FPS (First Person Shooter); while games involving strategy and planning are in third person view. Because, in first person mode, we react better. While in third person view, we respond better (after thinking). Now apply the same logic to your problems. Do not see yourself as part of the problem. Instead of reacting to what the other person has done to you, think about it. You’d have noticed that most of bickering we see on roads are resolved by bystanders, because they are not emotionally attached to the situation and hence can analyze the problem with an open mind. Try to do the same for your problems as well, this removes the ‘ego’ element in your thought; and allows you to think rationally.

3. Understand his perspective

We’re all humans! Everyone is right in his own way. Try to be compassionate and understand his side of the problem. It might be a simple situation with the bus conductor involving some change for the ticket you bought; and you might be wondering why he makes a big fuss about it. But, you might be the nth such ‘nuisance’ for him; and with the not-so-ideal environment he faces everyday, he is bound to blow up sometimes. Our emotions are defined by our environments. Realising this makes us understand others better.

4. Talk it out

It’s very vital that you talk out the situation with him with an open mind. This would clear out misconceptions, and help understand each other better. Really helps when he is your colleague, or some one you see or meet often, so that it doesn’t become a recurring problem for you. If he is still a hard nut to crack, move on! Take the high ground - not all are privileged to be open in their thoughts like you - wish him a good day and move on.

5. Forgive and Forget!

It’s difficult to inculcate this habit, but is worth trying. Holding grudges against anyone is only going to increase your stress; interfere with your feelings and thoughts, and impede your growth. When Buddha was asked why he didn’t react when people bad-mouthed him while asking alms, he gracefully replied, “I asked for alms. They gave me their swear words as alms; i didn’t want them. So, i didn’t take it’. When you have a problem, respond; don’t react!

Secret of a stress-free life is to be compassionate and be less critical of others, and more so, of ourselves!

- Arun KK

4 comments:

Nethaji Rajendran said...

Play Angry Birds, Better way to control it.. ;-)

Unknown said...

:) tried it already mate... completed ALL the Poached Eggs levels... awaiting company on the Teamwork level ;-)

vaishnavi kumar said...

Good one anna :)

Sandeep said...

Good One KK, Nicely compiled, Most of the married guys would have tried all ;-)

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